We passed court!!!

After four and a half years of working on this adoption and almost a full year of fighting specifically for Miles we are finally creeping up on the finish line.  On Dec. 17, 2103 we were informed we passed court.  This means that Miles officially became a Hawley and we officially has a second son.  Our family is growing and our hearts are over flowing.  We are so blessed.  Now, the question is when do we get to make the journey back to Bulgaria to get our son and welcome him into our family once and for all??

We made our first trip to meet him back in September and the waiting time has been rough.  Most adoptive parents say it is the hardest time of the entire experience.  I would have to agree but fortunately for our family we had a LOT going on to keep us distracted. I work full time for SEL Inc. as a Training Coordinator, I work part time for MyRadio 102.5 as an On-Air Personality, and I work the front desk at Bonkerz (an indoor play area) on Saturdays.  My husband works full time as an Agricultural Engineer for Kyle Hawley Farms as well as having almost 500 acres of his own farm ground where he grows wheat and garbanzo beans. Our son, Kolby, is a go getter. He is involved in Tee-ball, Swim Lessons, Hockey and Soccer.  He is a social butterfly and loves having playdate with all his friends.  Our lives may seem crazy to most people but it is filled with love.

Even though we are busy that doesn’t stop us from thinking about Miles every minute of every day. We are getting really excited to be able to go and pick him up.  Our agency gave us tentative travel dates of Jan. 8^th-18^th.  We should know official travel dates shortly after Christmas.  To say we are excited is an understatement.  We can FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Our family will soon be all together.

We started looking at airline tickets to try and get a good idea of our price point.  Expedia and Orbitz are saying $1500 for my ticket, $1500 for Jason ticket, $1500 for Kolby’s ticket and $3000 for Miles’ ticket.  That is $7500 for our family to travel there and back.  On top of that we were not able to find any flights that would match up with our round trip tickets and Miles’ one way ticket.  REALLY!!??  It is always something!!  Until….

I got frustrated and thought, no way is this something ever adoptive family goes through.  I posted on our Facebook adoption page and asked how I should book tickets.  I got a ton of responses.  Contact Adoption Airfare, contact Golden Rule Travel, contact the Airlines directly and ask for special rates for adoption.  We did it all just to see what we could find. 

Best price we could find was $1200 for me and $1200 for Jason, $1000 for Kolby and $500 for Miles! That is less than $4000!!!  That is a huge cost savings from the original $7500 we were going to have to spend.  GOD is so good.  Granted $4000 is a lot to spend but for our family to all be together and experience this journey together- it is totally worth it!! 

It is finally happening!! I cannot wait!! I will keep you updated as to what the official dates of travel are and our journey is traveling over to Bulgaria with a 4 year old and traveling back with 2 kiddos under the age of 5.  It will be crazy but if you couldn’t tell- We operate well under the category of crazy!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  2014 will be year of change and adjustment but most of all HAPPINESS and TOGETHERNESS!!

Psalm 62:5-8

Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Anyone who knows me understands without it needing to be said- I am NOT a patient person.  Throughout this adoption process the Lord has proceeded to teach me patience.  Although it has not been easy it will completely be worth it.

We just found out that the Minister has not signed our paperwork yet.  He said that it will take almost 3 weeks before he will be able to get to it.  After that we will head to court and on average it has been taking 3-4 weeks.  Then comes the court decree which will take almost 2-3 weeks to print.  Then we will FINALLY travel.  If everything goes smoothly (yeah right) we still have to wait 10 weeks. 

Originally we were told that we would travel, worst case scenario, over Christmas.  Now we are looking at the end of January or beginning of February. I am doing my best to find the silver lining in all this but I am really struggling.  I am sick of the typical answers I get back from everyone when they hear about our situation.  "It will all be worth it"  "It is always on His timeline and you need to trust that"  "Distance makes the heart grow stronger"  I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW!!! It will be worth it, we trust Him and His timeline, we are grateful for the path he has chosen for our family, and regardless of distance our hearts are ALWAYS with our kids!! It does not make the waiting any easier or the disappoint of delays any less hurtful. 

I have asked a lot of adoptive families how to deal with the wait. The responses have been; go shopping for stuff for the child, organize his room, do fundraising, blog, look back on pictures and videos of your first trip, get a second job to earn a little extra money for trip number two, etc.

Check, check, check, check, check, check- I have done it all.  The wait is still killing me!! The only thing that give my heart any peace is when I am surrounded by my Lords love.  Listening to worship music, reading the word of God, sitting in Church, devouring the word of God with my fellow followers, prayer... Only when I am in those places does my heart settle, my mind stop running a million miles a minute and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

I know His timing is what is right for our family.  I trust that He will bring our family together.  The overwhelming peace I feel knowing that there are people out there praying for our son give me such comfort.  The Lord is my rock, He is my Savior, I pour my heart out to him, I trust him and it is only with Him that I find my refuge. 

As soon as we can, we will all be together.... Hold on my brave little man.  Mommy loves you more that words can say.  :)

The struggle is part of the story...

I know I haven't spoke out about how we are handling the wait time but to be completely honest it is literally killing me.  Thinking about it takes me to the verge of tears.  Talking about it make me cry like a baby.  It is completely unbearable.  My heart is here and my heart is across the world in Bulgaria. I am really struggling.  Every time I find myself feeling sad about my son being in Bulgaria I feel guilty about not being present here at home.  If I find myself having fun and being happy I feel guilty because my little boy is in a third world country away from his family.

There are two days in my whole life that I honestly have no idea how I made it through. 

The first was the day Kolby was born.  I still had IV in my arm and had not been conscious for more than an hour when they put my son on an ambulance headed for the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in Spokane.  They expected me to stay in Moscow, FAT CHANCE!!! I pulled IV's out of my arm and followed my son to Spokane. 

The second day was the day I sat in a room on the third floor of an Orphanage half a world away with my three year old son in my lab.  The door swung open and an older lady spoke to me in a language I didn't understand.  I stared at her blankly although I knew exactly what she was asking me to do.  Subconsciously I turned me back to her and held tight to my son. My translator explained that it was time for us to go and leave Miles here.  Can you imagine giving your three year old son a kiss goodbye and telling him you love him and having no idea when you will see him again?  I had to sit there and watch a caretaker, of whom I didn't even know her name, take my son away from me.  No one told me how long we would be apart, no one told me how hard it would be, no one prepared me for the overwhelming break my heart would experience.  I tried to pretend I was strong and happy so my son would not see me crumble into a pile of nothing on the floor. 

It was only moments after he was out of sight that the tears rolled down my face faster than I could wipe them away.  I struggled to stay on my feet as all the strength I had was quickly disappearing.  Every morsel of my being wanted to run after that caretaker and snatch my son away from her.  I was not reassured that he would be well taken care of, I was uncertain he would know us when we returned for him, I wasn't ok with flying half way around the world to go back to everyday life like nothing was different. 

It was been a month since we returned home.  I do not feel like we are any closer to going back over to get him.  We have been told that we should travel at the end of December, possibly spending Christmas in Bulgaria, or even sometime in January.  The government shut down postponed our paperwork a bit, our Idaho State Background Checks were returned due to the form being changed the day after we mailed them.  Our paperwork is currently on its way to Bulgaria so we are just waiting. 

Waiting and waiting and waiting.  I know that God has a lesson here for me in particular.  Patience is a virtue and I have never been very good at it.  I am learning that everything is done on his timeline but accepting that is much harder than I ever imagined.  I am a control freak to say it gently.  Giving it all to him has been a struggle and has also forced me to grow in ways I didn't think I was capable of doing.  My faith has been tested in this whole process but I am beginning to see that my faith is growing stronger, our marriage has flourished, and our family is growing deeper roots.  The struggle is all part of the story but believe me living in the struggle day to day is almost enough to break a person down to the most rare point.

I heard a song recently that captures exactly how I am feeling. Listening to the lyrics gives me hope, brings me to tears and makes my heart settle in peace.  I have attached to lyrics below. 

 

"He Will Carry Me"

I call, You hear me
I've lost it all
And it's more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You're strong
I'm weary
I'm holdin' on
But I feel like givin' in
But still You're with me

[chorus:]
And even though I'm walkin' through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I'm broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You're always with me

[chorus]

And even though I feel so lonely
Like I've never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you'd see me through
The storm

[chorus]

 

Please pray for our family as we solider on through this agonizing wait.  Please pray for my son so that he will know he has a family that loves  him more than he will ever know.  Please pray for all the families that are partners with us in this journey we call adoption. Most importantly please pray for all the orphans all around the world that they too will find they family the so desperately long to have.

 

 

Marathon Blog....

Ok everyone.... So much has happened since the last blog.  I am going to try and recapture it for you.

5k/10k "Fund" Run- This event happened on Aug 24th and it was AMAZING.  We had over 60 runners in attendance and a significant amount of donations from people unable to attend.  We raised over our $2500 goal and on top of that a friend of mine in Texas decided to hold her own 5k Run in our honor.  Her run raised and additional $1000.  We are so amazingly blessed!! It isn't everyone that has great people and such a strong support system behind them.  We recognize how lucky and fortunate we are and believe me-  We thank God daily for how blessed we are.  The run was amazing and came in handy because....

2 weeks later we were leaving for BULGARIA to meet our son.  We got the phone call on Aug. 27th that told us we needed to arrive in Sofia Bulgaria on Saturday, Sept. 7th.  A phone call that would change our lives forever.  It was very surreal to us for the longest time.  We have been fighting for this for over four years now and we finally had a date in which we could actually say we would meet our son.  Kolby was finally going to be a big brother. I finally will get to hug my son.  Miles will finally know the love of a family.  It was incredible.  The countdown began.  I was a total wreck.  To be honest, I found almost everything to distract me from thinking about it because I could hardly control myself from just catching the next flight and flying over to knock on the orphanage doors.  I ended up canning over a dozen jars of spaghetti sauces, 2 dozen jars of Salsa, 2 dozen jars of pears, a half dozen jars of peaches, and about 10 jars of Blackberry/blueberry jam.  WHAT WAS I THINKING??  We are set for some snack food when we return home with our son though, right?

The 7th quickly approached and everyday we grew more and more anxious.  More and more excited and honestly, more and more SCARED TO DEATH!!! Every scenario ran through my head.  But regardless of emotion the day slowly crept closer.  The night of the sixth was a mad rush.  I got off work and was determined to spend every last moment with Kolby before leaving.  We went down to the motorcycle track his dad built and watch him ride his motorcycle.  We played farming, we watched Lego guys on TV and then we finally laid down for bed.  At that moment we flew into packing mood, cleaning house, organizing everything for Kolby while we were gone, I ran into town and spent 4 hours at the radio station.  2am arrived quicker than we could have imagined.  We loaded everything and everyone up.  Picked up Emmy (the angel that would love and care for our son in our absence).  We drove to Spokane, kissed our son goodbye and proceeded to check in.  We have 2 HUGE bags that were both only .5lb under the allotted weight limit stocked full of toys, blankets, clothes, snacks and other fun donations for the orphanage.  We both had a carry on and personal items with our clothes for the trip.  We left Spokane at 5:45am, flew to Denver, then to Montreal Canada, then to Frankfurt Germany and then to Sofia Bulgaria.

We started our journey at 5:45 am on Saturday.  We arrived in Sofia Bulgaria at 1:00pm Sunday afternoon.  The longest lay over we had was only 2 1/2 hours in Germany.  Needless to say we were EXHAUSTED!!! A driver pick us up in Sofia and we met with two other families that were getting to pick up there kiddos this trip.  We only got about 20 minutes to chat with them until we were taxied to our hotel.  It was so TINY.  Everything over here is much smaller than in the States.  Narrow streets, tiny cars, small hotel rooms, its all just a little more miniature.  We took a short stroll down the board walk in Sofia and than back to the hotel where we proceeded to nap for 5 hours.  Woke up and went to eat.  Everything is pasta and pizza here.  Yummy food!! Walked back to the hotel and slept until 6am.  We were picked up and went to the airport in Sofia.  It is now Monday morning and we are flying to Varna to meet our son.....

The flight only lasted 30 minutes from Sofia to Varna.  We arrived safely and went to our hotel to drop off luggage. We were fortunate to travel with another lady picking up her daughter from another orphanage not far from Miles'.   We got to the orphanage and were ushered to an office. 

Anticipation was KILLING us.  Every set of footsteps sent us into heart racing mood.  When we finally arrived he was scared to death.  Shaking and sobbing.  My heart melted.  Here he is in the flesh.  I was actually able to reach out and touch him.  I reached for him and he automatically snuggled into me!!   Our first embrace as a mother and son and let me tell you it was absolutely priceless and worth the wait, worth the struggle, worth the fight, worth every ounce of effort we put towards this adoption.  It was a moment that I will NEVER forget. 

We got to play with him for two hours.  He loved the ball that Grammy sent with us.  I was astounded with how quickly he warmed up to us.  At the end of the two hours he cried and reached for us as they carried him away.  My heart broke into a million pieces.  I had to continue to remind myself that we would get to see him tomorrow but that did little to comfort me.  After waiting all this time how could two hours go by so quickly and why do we have to leave him....

We were originally told that we would be able to spend the entire day with him on Monday-Friday.  That quickly changed when we arrived and were informed that we would get to spend only two hours a day with him Monday- Thursday.  This mama bear was not happy with the information but in hindsight- I will take every minute I am given and be grateful for it.

We were able to meet back up with our friend that was picking up her little girl.  We spend the afternoon with them and it was so precious to see another family united after such a long wait.  We walked down to the black sea and up and down the boardwalk. It was fun and relaxing but I would have traded it all for another minute with our son. 

We are awaiting day two.  So much excited that the alarm that was suppose to sound at 5am today didn't need to be set as we were both up and wide awake by 3:30am.  We got the opportunity to facetime with our son, Kolby, and hear all about his adventures at home.  I can not imagine a heart being able to withstand anymore joy than mine is at this moment.  How is it that out of all the boys in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, we got the best ones??

More to follow as we progress through the trip.  Thank you for all the prayers, thoughts and warm wishes.  We are truly blessed and thankful for all the support.

With much love-
A Brand New Blessed Mommy!!

He is ours...

In the eyes of Bulgaria our little Miles is officially our son!! We are now just waiting for our agency to call us and tell us to get on the plane headed to Bulgaria. The anticipation is killing me. I feel like it is actually coming together, like our prayers are being answered. I am trying to focus on getting businesses to sponsor our t-shirts and get everyone to sign up for our 5K/10K run.  It has been a good distraction due to the fact that without it I would be going completely crazy.  My mind is going a million miles a minute and all I want to do is hug my little boy.  Kolby is getting so excited and asking so many questions.  Can your heart explode from happiness?? If so, I am kind of scared mine might! Our family is almost complete.... :)

5K/10K Run or Walk

It is official we are hosting another fundraiser on August 24th. 

 

 

Please email loveoutloudjourney@live.com for a printable registration form and mail it in!! We would love all the support we can get! Thanks!!

Now what...

What do you do when you feel like the whole world is crashing down around you and no one feels it but you?

Miles turned 3 on June 25th.  I have never struggled so much in my life and the hardest part is that no one seemed to understand why that day was so hard for me.  My only prayer is that someone in that orphanage so many miles away took my son into there arms and told him how special he is!! I take comfort in knowing that he will never have to spend another birthday without knowing a mothers love. 

That day proceeded to get worse.  We found out that NBC declined our home study because on page 4 it said "The Hawley Family is approved for a child with..." and on page 18 it said "The Hawley Family would consider a child with..."  Due to the fact that "approved" and "consider" did not match in our home study we were declined.  I proceeded to call our Social Worker and have her change the wording.  Since we had to have an edit made after the submission of our Home Study it was considered an addendum and cost $100. 

Whatever... I don't care how much it cost. I don't care how much debt.  I don't care! I WANT MY SON!! We paid the money.  Paid to have it expressed mailed to the NBC worker.  Once she received that we were suppose to be approved.  Only for her to come back and say that since our home study said we were open to a sibling group but did not specify the particulars we are denied again.  Another $100 later and another $35 expressed shipping charge we are now waiting to hear what the next piece of news will be. 

We found out the same day that the MOJ in Bulgaria closes the entire month of August.  If we don't get NBC approval and MOJ's stamp of approval before the end of July we will have to wait until September for a potential travel date!! KILLING ME SLOWLY!!! My fingers are crossed we get a travel date by end of July, will get to meet our son in August, come home, wait three months and will get to go pick up our son in Nov-Dec.  I am not sure if that is realistic since we were suppose to travel in June and it is July and we don't even have NBC approval yet. 

Frustrated with the process but 100% worth it.  Some days I feel defeated, other days inspired, other days ticked off, and most days just HOPEFUL!

Momma is coming my dear Miles....

Birthday blues...

How do I even begin to explain the way that I feel...

I got my hopes up that we would be traveling to meet our little boy in June.  Miles turns 3 on June 25th and I was praying that we would get to be with him on his birthday.  It was unrealistic to hope for but I Momma can dream, right? We just got word that we will more than likely not travel until August or later. :( Supposedly the Ministry of Justice takes the entire month of August off so if we don't get a travel date prior to August we probably wont travel until late fall. Heavy heart but praying for a travel date before August. I long to meet our son so badly!!

Since we wont be able to love on our little guy on his birthday we sent him a package.  The adoption agency sends a package to Bulgaria every Friday so we packaged up a few things to send to our little man for his big day.  It kills me to know that I wont be able to be with him on his birthday. This will be the last birthday he will ever spend not knowing there is a family that loves him so much!! I have to rejoice in the fact that every birthday from this point forward we will all be together.

One day at a time, one day at a time.... This is the hardest thing I have ever done.  If we could DO something, if we could focus on something but instead we just have to wait.....

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (NIV)

Another Successful Saturday...

We were all about the yard sale this Saturday. Thank you so much for all the donations everyone.  We were able to raise enough to get to the half way point.  We put a $5000 goal on the yard sale fundraising goal for the summer.  We are HALF WAY there!! We have two weeks to get together more yard sale items.  We will be out June 22nd for the next yard sale. I will need to go back through all my stuff to restock the garage.  If you have any donations please let us know and we will come pick up the stuff!! We are feeling so accomplished even though we still have a long way to go but right now- WE ARE HALF WAY.  Rejoicing in all the little accomplishments.  :) Thank you to everyone who helped us get this far!!

My beautiful Family!

I can't wait til our little Miles (in the small photo below) can join our family in the large photo above.  I feel like this photo captures how we feel about the adoption right now.  We are so blessed and hopeful for our family to be all together but he feels so far away!  There is us here and him there!! Waiting for us all to be together is getting harder and harder!! Wish we could catch a flight right now and go be with him.  The only way we know to try and tell him how we feel is through prayer.  My heart bleeds for him to know that he has a family that loves him desperately.  We are a family through faith and we will unite soon.  I just wish he knew we are here, that we love him, and that we are doing everything in our power to come to him!! We love you Miles.  Please know that Mommy and Daddy are coming.....

Fundraising- Whoo Hooo!!

First Official Fundraiser=Success!!

We are feeling so overwhelmingly blessed tonight! We had our first official fundraiser and it was such a success.  We held a massive yard sale today from 7am-3pm.  We had so many wonderful families donate a ton of amazing stuff.  We were up late last night getting ready and up at the crack of dawn this morning to pull it all out and set up.  I was so nervous NO ONE would show up.  We were surprised by the overwhelming turnout.  People came because they follow our blog, some came cause they follow us on Facebook, some came cause they saw our ad on craigslist, some came because they saw our signs on the road.  Everyone was so supportive and we had such a successful day.  I am hoping a few people decide to start following our journey :).  We want to thank everyone who donated items, donated time, donated help, and came to the sale.  Your generosity amounted in a LARGE appreciation from our family and we raised enough money to BUY ONE TICKET TO BULGARIA!!!!! So AMAZING!!! We are getting so close to meeting our sweet little Miles. We will be out next Saturday with more stuff and hopefully earn enough for one more ticket to Bulgaria!!! Hope to see you there!!

We would be lost with out them and want to give a shout out to my little sister and her boyfriend.  Emmy and Dustin arrived at our house around 6pm last night.  They cooked us dinner, helped us get ready, stayed the night, woke up at 5am to help set up, stayed for the entire yard sale, helped us clean up and didn't leave here til close to 4pm today.  You guys are amazing!! We love you so much and are so blessed to have an Aunt and Uncle that love our son as much as we love him. Thank you so much for your help, support, love and dedication to our family!! We are forever grateful for all you do for us!!

Remember to visit our online store for all your coffee needs.  50% of whatever you buy is sent directly to our Adoption Agency to cover adoption fees.  Thank you so much!!
https://justlovecoffee.com/loveoutloud.hawley

Piles of paperwork

The overwhelming amount of paperwork!! There is a common saying in the adoption world that if you stop doing paperwork than you stop being pregnant.  It is very true!! Everyday you are pregnant you have to take care of that little one living inside of you.  When you are adopting the only way to get closer to that little one, the only thing you can do to keep the process moving, the only thing that is a constant is PAPERWORK!! We are at a little bit of a stand still with paperwork as we wait on Agencies, Government, NBC and the MOJ.  Standing still is way to hard for me so in order to feel like we are still progressing forward I have dove head first into Fundraising mode.  I have been amazed at how hard it is to fundraise when you are not a Nonprofit but that is NOT going to stop us.  I have been busy making flyer's, letters, announcement cards, yard sale signs, and much more.  Today I went a viewed a venue for the Night Out Event!! It is perfect and the lady who owns it is so great.  I am excited to get started planning that event.  Our 5k/10k run is coming along nicely.  We are almost ready to start collecting business sponsor for the t-shirts.  The yard sale pile is growing almost daily thanks to such amazing people.  We have had two WONDERFUL people purchase coffee on https://justlovecoffee.com/loveoutloud.hawley.  We are truly blessed to have such amazing people surrounding us and supporting us through this journey. THANK YOU!!

5K/10K RUN

Found out that the Latah County Fair is on Sept 7th so that wont work for our fundraising event.  New date will be Aug. 24th!!! More details to follow....

MILES!!!

WE ARE SOOO AMAZINGLY BLESSED!!!
We have received our referral.  Our dear son Miles Svetlev Hawley will be joining our family. He was born on June 25, 2010 which means that our boys will be exactly 1 year and 12 days apart.  What a fun month June will be for our family!! He is beautiful!! We are hoping to be able to post a picture soon.

We have always been open to children with specials needs.  The Lord blessed us with Miles who is autistic.  He is nonverbal and has developmental delays.  Early intervention is key for autistic children.  We are eager to meet him and so excited to be his forever family.  WE need to get Miles home in order to get him the medical attention he so desperately needs.  The great news is that YOU CAN HELP!!

Here is how we plan to get him home:

**YARD SALES: Please donate anything and everything you do not need or want!! We will sell it and the money will help us to bring our son home.  We will hold yard sales on June 1, June 8, June 22, and June 29.  If we still have donations rolling in and have stuff to sell we will continue into the month of July.  Still working, still having donation roll in then we will KEEP GOING!! :)

**Night Out: We are shooting for Sept. 7th.  We will hold a HUGE night out.  There will be food, drinks and karaoke.  We will have a silent auction, a presentation, and a TON OF FUN!! This night is aimed at allowing adults to fellowship and enjoy each others company while raising money for the adoption and to educate others about the need and process of adoption. It will be a casual event.  If you have anything you would like to donate to the silent auction, please contact me 509-595-8803.

**5k/10k Walk or Run: Also happening Sept. 7th.  There will be t-shirts and a discount for early registration. This event will take place in Pullman, WA.  Please come and support our precious little boy!!

https://justlovecoffee.com/loveoutloud.hawley- Please visit our Store Front.  You can bring Miles home one sip at a time!! We wanted to do something that allows our friends and family that are not local an opportunity to participate.  Visit our site, order your coffee, and save a life!!!

**Pancake Feed: We are going to partner with our local Applebees and host a Pancake Breakfast!! More to come on this.  Tickets will be available soon....

**Last but NOT least:  If anyone feels it in there hearts to help us in our efforts to bring this beautiful little boy home you can donate to our adoption fund by sending a check to our adoption agency.  They will apply that money to our outstanding balance.  Below is the instructions.

All God's Children International
Attn: Soojin Parks
3308 NE Peerless Place
Portland, OR 97232
***IMPORTANT: in the notes section of your check write- HAWLEY FAMILY ADOPTION***

Our accomplishments thus far...

Pay to the Order Of	Date	Discription
AGCI	11/20/2013	Sent in prelimanary Application- Our journey begins!!
AGCI	12/12/2012	Application
Adoption Learning Partners	12/27/2012	Online Training
ANB	1/9/2013	Orientation and Webinar (application Fee)
ANB	1/10/2013	In Person Training
ANB	1/16/2013	International Pre-Adoptive Home Study Fee
Gas	1/19/2013	Family meeting with Case worker in Plummer
ANB	1/26/2013	Lunch at Training
Gas	1/26/2013	Gas to Boise for Training
AGCI	2/19/2013	1st Agency Service Fee
AGCI	2/19/2013	Orphan Care
AGCI	2/19/2013	Home Study Review (non-AGCI HS)
AGCI	2/19/2013	Eyes wide open book
Amazon	2/21/2013	Books
Gas	3/2/2013	Heidi's meeting with case worker in Plummer
IDHW	3/6/2013	Idaho Background check- Heidi
IDHW	3/6/2013	Idaho Background check- Jason
Medical	3/7/2013	Homestudy medical exam- HIV and TB Test- Heidi
Medical	3/7/2013	Homestudy medical exam- HIV and TB Test- Jason
Latah County	3/11/2013	FBI Fingerprinting- Heidi
Latah County	3/11/2013	FBI Fingerprinting- Jason
State of WY	3/12/2013	Wyoming Backgroung Check
Gas	3/16/2013	Jasons meeting with case worker in Plummer
FBI	3/28/2013	Cashiers check to send to West Virigina for FBI Background check
USPS	3/28/2013	Mailing in Eyes Wide Open Booklet, Home Study and FBI Fingerprints

First Meeting of Home Study

Yesterday we had our first meeting with our case worker for our Home Study.  I can not even begin to describe how nervous we were.  We felt the need to prove we are a normal family even though we are far from normal.  I am not sure we want to be "normal."  In my opinion, we are a loving happy family but we don't have all the answers.  We will give it our best shot, do the research, put in the time and energy but I can promise that we will make mistakes.  We were afraid this would count against us but the meeting went well. A lot of paperwork to sign, questions to answer and items to add to the "To Do List." We were given a number of books to read, classes to attend, and tasks to complete.  Overwhelmed- yes! Excited- YES!!  Progress- YAY!!!

I come from a large family... That is a little bit of an understatement.  I am one of fifteen.  I can honestly say that I am not looking to have a family that size but my best friend in the entire world is my little sister.  I have no idea where I would be without her.  That is one of the main motivations behind our adoption.  I struggle with the thought of not being able to provide my son with the opportunity to have a relationship like the one I cherish with my sister.  I understand that the relationship my son will develop with his siblings may or may not be as great as the one I have with my sister but I am determined to at least provide the opportunity.  I love Kolby with all my heart and want to give him the world- I think that is typical of any parent. :)

We think we may see a flicker of light at the end of this tunnel...

As many of you know, we began our adoption journey when our son was only 6 months old. He is currently coming up on his fourth birthday in June. The point of this blog is to help us document our experience.  I am hoping to find blogging as an outlet for my thoughts, joys and frustrations. If you become a follower- Great!! If this ends up being a venue for me to rant and rave- EVEN BETTER J Our goal is to documenting a period of my life that has brought so many sleepless nights, tears, and unbelievable heartaches but in the end I believe it will be one of the best experience of my life.
Since we began this process we have gotten declined applications one after another:

• Kolby is too young
• Jason and you are too young
• You don't own your house
• You are both self employed
• You need a higher net worth

So in the last few years a lot has changed. All three of us are older :), we bought a house, I work full time as a Training Coordinator, Jason works full time farming and we sold our Espresso Shop and now have a higher net worth.  We got final approval from our adoption agency for the Bulgaria program.  We start our home study this week and head to Boise at the end of January for some education classes. Finally feeling like we see a dim flicker of light at the end of the tunnel....