Marathon Blog....

Ok everyone.... So much has happened since the last blog.  I am going to try and recapture it for you.

5k/10k "Fund" Run- This event happened on Aug 24th and it was AMAZING.  We had over 60 runners in attendance and a significant amount of donations from people unable to attend.  We raised over our $2500 goal and on top of that a friend of mine in Texas decided to hold her own 5k Run in our honor.  Her run raised and additional $1000.  We are so amazingly blessed!! It isn't everyone that has great people and such a strong support system behind them.  We recognize how lucky and fortunate we are and believe me-  We thank God daily for how blessed we are.  The run was amazing and came in handy because....

2 weeks later we were leaving for BULGARIA to meet our son.  We got the phone call on Aug. 27th that told us we needed to arrive in Sofia Bulgaria on Saturday, Sept. 7th.  A phone call that would change our lives forever.  It was very surreal to us for the longest time.  We have been fighting for this for over four years now and we finally had a date in which we could actually say we would meet our son.  Kolby was finally going to be a big brother. I finally will get to hug my son.  Miles will finally know the love of a family.  It was incredible.  The countdown began.  I was a total wreck.  To be honest, I found almost everything to distract me from thinking about it because I could hardly control myself from just catching the next flight and flying over to knock on the orphanage doors.  I ended up canning over a dozen jars of spaghetti sauces, 2 dozen jars of Salsa, 2 dozen jars of pears, a half dozen jars of peaches, and about 10 jars of Blackberry/blueberry jam.  WHAT WAS I THINKING??  We are set for some snack food when we return home with our son though, right?

The 7th quickly approached and everyday we grew more and more anxious.  More and more excited and honestly, more and more SCARED TO DEATH!!! Every scenario ran through my head.  But regardless of emotion the day slowly crept closer.  The night of the sixth was a mad rush.  I got off work and was determined to spend every last moment with Kolby before leaving.  We went down to the motorcycle track his dad built and watch him ride his motorcycle.  We played farming, we watched Lego guys on TV and then we finally laid down for bed.  At that moment we flew into packing mood, cleaning house, organizing everything for Kolby while we were gone, I ran into town and spent 4 hours at the radio station.  2am arrived quicker than we could have imagined.  We loaded everything and everyone up.  Picked up Emmy (the angel that would love and care for our son in our absence).  We drove to Spokane, kissed our son goodbye and proceeded to check in.  We have 2 HUGE bags that were both only .5lb under the allotted weight limit stocked full of toys, blankets, clothes, snacks and other fun donations for the orphanage.  We both had a carry on and personal items with our clothes for the trip.  We left Spokane at 5:45am, flew to Denver, then to Montreal Canada, then to Frankfurt Germany and then to Sofia Bulgaria.

We started our journey at 5:45 am on Saturday.  We arrived in Sofia Bulgaria at 1:00pm Sunday afternoon.  The longest lay over we had was only 2 1/2 hours in Germany.  Needless to say we were EXHAUSTED!!! A driver pick us up in Sofia and we met with two other families that were getting to pick up there kiddos this trip.  We only got about 20 minutes to chat with them until we were taxied to our hotel.  It was so TINY.  Everything over here is much smaller than in the States.  Narrow streets, tiny cars, small hotel rooms, its all just a little more miniature.  We took a short stroll down the board walk in Sofia and than back to the hotel where we proceeded to nap for 5 hours.  Woke up and went to eat.  Everything is pasta and pizza here.  Yummy food!! Walked back to the hotel and slept until 6am.  We were picked up and went to the airport in Sofia.  It is now Monday morning and we are flying to Varna to meet our son.....

The flight only lasted 30 minutes from Sofia to Varna.  We arrived safely and went to our hotel to drop off luggage. We were fortunate to travel with another lady picking up her daughter from another orphanage not far from Miles'.   We got to the orphanage and were ushered to an office. 

Anticipation was KILLING us.  Every set of footsteps sent us into heart racing mood.  When we finally arrived he was scared to death.  Shaking and sobbing.  My heart melted.  Here he is in the flesh.  I was actually able to reach out and touch him.  I reached for him and he automatically snuggled into me!!   Our first embrace as a mother and son and let me tell you it was absolutely priceless and worth the wait, worth the struggle, worth the fight, worth every ounce of effort we put towards this adoption.  It was a moment that I will NEVER forget. 

We got to play with him for two hours.  He loved the ball that Grammy sent with us.  I was astounded with how quickly he warmed up to us.  At the end of the two hours he cried and reached for us as they carried him away.  My heart broke into a million pieces.  I had to continue to remind myself that we would get to see him tomorrow but that did little to comfort me.  After waiting all this time how could two hours go by so quickly and why do we have to leave him....

We were originally told that we would be able to spend the entire day with him on Monday-Friday.  That quickly changed when we arrived and were informed that we would get to spend only two hours a day with him Monday- Thursday.  This mama bear was not happy with the information but in hindsight- I will take every minute I am given and be grateful for it.

We were able to meet back up with our friend that was picking up her little girl.  We spend the afternoon with them and it was so precious to see another family united after such a long wait.  We walked down to the black sea and up and down the boardwalk. It was fun and relaxing but I would have traded it all for another minute with our son. 

We are awaiting day two.  So much excited that the alarm that was suppose to sound at 5am today didn't need to be set as we were both up and wide awake by 3:30am.  We got the opportunity to facetime with our son, Kolby, and hear all about his adventures at home.  I can not imagine a heart being able to withstand anymore joy than mine is at this moment.  How is it that out of all the boys in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, we got the best ones??

More to follow as we progress through the trip.  Thank you for all the prayers, thoughts and warm wishes.  We are truly blessed and thankful for all the support.

With much love-
A Brand New Blessed Mommy!!

He is ours...

In the eyes of Bulgaria our little Miles is officially our son!! We are now just waiting for our agency to call us and tell us to get on the plane headed to Bulgaria. The anticipation is killing me. I feel like it is actually coming together, like our prayers are being answered. I am trying to focus on getting businesses to sponsor our t-shirts and get everyone to sign up for our 5K/10K run.  It has been a good distraction due to the fact that without it I would be going completely crazy.  My mind is going a million miles a minute and all I want to do is hug my little boy.  Kolby is getting so excited and asking so many questions.  Can your heart explode from happiness?? If so, I am kind of scared mine might! Our family is almost complete.... :)

5K/10K Run or Walk

It is official we are hosting another fundraiser on August 24th. 

 

 

Please email loveoutloudjourney@live.com for a printable registration form and mail it in!! We would love all the support we can get! Thanks!!

Now what...

What do you do when you feel like the whole world is crashing down around you and no one feels it but you?

Miles turned 3 on June 25th.  I have never struggled so much in my life and the hardest part is that no one seemed to understand why that day was so hard for me.  My only prayer is that someone in that orphanage so many miles away took my son into there arms and told him how special he is!! I take comfort in knowing that he will never have to spend another birthday without knowing a mothers love. 

That day proceeded to get worse.  We found out that NBC declined our home study because on page 4 it said "The Hawley Family is approved for a child with..." and on page 18 it said "The Hawley Family would consider a child with..."  Due to the fact that "approved" and "consider" did not match in our home study we were declined.  I proceeded to call our Social Worker and have her change the wording.  Since we had to have an edit made after the submission of our Home Study it was considered an addendum and cost $100. 

Whatever... I don't care how much it cost. I don't care how much debt.  I don't care! I WANT MY SON!! We paid the money.  Paid to have it expressed mailed to the NBC worker.  Once she received that we were suppose to be approved.  Only for her to come back and say that since our home study said we were open to a sibling group but did not specify the particulars we are denied again.  Another $100 later and another $35 expressed shipping charge we are now waiting to hear what the next piece of news will be. 

We found out the same day that the MOJ in Bulgaria closes the entire month of August.  If we don't get NBC approval and MOJ's stamp of approval before the end of July we will have to wait until September for a potential travel date!! KILLING ME SLOWLY!!! My fingers are crossed we get a travel date by end of July, will get to meet our son in August, come home, wait three months and will get to go pick up our son in Nov-Dec.  I am not sure if that is realistic since we were suppose to travel in June and it is July and we don't even have NBC approval yet. 

Frustrated with the process but 100% worth it.  Some days I feel defeated, other days inspired, other days ticked off, and most days just HOPEFUL!

Momma is coming my dear Miles....

Birthday blues...

How do I even begin to explain the way that I feel...

I got my hopes up that we would be traveling to meet our little boy in June.  Miles turns 3 on June 25th and I was praying that we would get to be with him on his birthday.  It was unrealistic to hope for but I Momma can dream, right? We just got word that we will more than likely not travel until August or later. :( Supposedly the Ministry of Justice takes the entire month of August off so if we don't get a travel date prior to August we probably wont travel until late fall. Heavy heart but praying for a travel date before August. I long to meet our son so badly!!

Since we wont be able to love on our little guy on his birthday we sent him a package.  The adoption agency sends a package to Bulgaria every Friday so we packaged up a few things to send to our little man for his big day.  It kills me to know that I wont be able to be with him on his birthday. This will be the last birthday he will ever spend not knowing there is a family that loves him so much!! I have to rejoice in the fact that every birthday from this point forward we will all be together.

One day at a time, one day at a time.... This is the hardest thing I have ever done.  If we could DO something, if we could focus on something but instead we just have to wait.....

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (NIV)

Another Successful Saturday...

We were all about the yard sale this Saturday. Thank you so much for all the donations everyone.  We were able to raise enough to get to the half way point.  We put a $5000 goal on the yard sale fundraising goal for the summer.  We are HALF WAY there!! We have two weeks to get together more yard sale items.  We will be out June 22nd for the next yard sale. I will need to go back through all my stuff to restock the garage.  If you have any donations please let us know and we will come pick up the stuff!! We are feeling so accomplished even though we still have a long way to go but right now- WE ARE HALF WAY.  Rejoicing in all the little accomplishments.  :) Thank you to everyone who helped us get this far!!

My beautiful Family!

I can't wait til our little Miles (in the small photo below) can join our family in the large photo above.  I feel like this photo captures how we feel about the adoption right now.  We are so blessed and hopeful for our family to be all together but he feels so far away!  There is us here and him there!! Waiting for us all to be together is getting harder and harder!! Wish we could catch a flight right now and go be with him.  The only way we know to try and tell him how we feel is through prayer.  My heart bleeds for him to know that he has a family that loves him desperately.  We are a family through faith and we will unite soon.  I just wish he knew we are here, that we love him, and that we are doing everything in our power to come to him!! We love you Miles.  Please know that Mommy and Daddy are coming.....